Helloween? More like Hellowon't.

I love power-metal. I really do. The problem is, there really hasn't been a decent album since the late 90's.

However, I still find myself grabbing an album every now and then to check it out.

And I always find myself disappointed.

Case & Point is Helloween - Unarmed which is apparently a celebration of 25 years of Helloween.

Now i've never really cared too much for Andi Deris. They pretty much went downhill once Kai Hansen and Michael Kiske left.

So here they go, trying to recapture any excitement there may be by re-recording classic songs.

That's the first mistake. I can't think of any instance in which this was a good idea. Perhaps Testament's 'first strike still deadly' but that's it.

The second mistake? Re-recording songs and making them sound like they were recorded by a pop helloween cover band.

This is terrible. I started of with "future world", one of my favorite helloween songs. Acoustic guitar intro? What? Where was this in the original? I can't even describe how terrible it is. You must hear it for yourself.

The only somewhat listenable song is their homage in "the keeper's trilogy". At least they threw in some orchestration that makes it somewhat interesting.

I don't understand how this album can be a thank you to the fans.

Thank you for what?

Hey thanks for liking helloween, here's a turd.

You wanna thank me? Grab Kiske out of retirement and do a tour. And give me free tickets.

You're welcome.